So now you're pumped to spend all your money on raffle tickets, but you're probably asking "when in the gosh darn heck is this Tournament of Champions thing even going to start?" Well, we've got answers. Expect it to start at CVGC HQ Friday evening at 7 PM. We expect it to take about 4 hours if everything runs smoothly, so should easily be done by midnight (the 4 hours should include a little padding).
Back to the business at hand. Two down, two to go. In today's installment of Git Gud: Better Knowing Your Champions, we look at 2017's champion: Saint. As always, everyone's encouraged to ask their own questions in the comments to follow-up on these. Or whatever inane question you might have, like whether or not he considers a hot dog to be a sandwich.
What is your favorite 80s movie?
Saint: What self-respecting CVGC "champion" doesn't immediately know that the CORRECT answer to this question is The Wizard? I'm pretty sure David has to forfeit his crown for saying any other movie here and, since I was the first to get it right and obviously copying me is out of the question, the other 2 also have to forfeit. So, I am now the 8-time (I missed one) CVGC champion!!!!!!!! Does that mean I can retire off all that prize money?
What is your favorite 80s song?
When you think of 80s songs, in relation to CVGC, you either start at or end up at GTA: Vice City. And when you think of any GTA radio stations, you think of Lazlow. So, here's a list of songs that Lazlow played on GTA: Vice City's V-Rock:
Judas Priest: You've Got Another Thing Coming
Motley Crue: Too Young to Fall in Love
Megadeth: Peace Sells
Rockstar's Lovefist: Dangerous Bastard
Autograph: Turn Up the Radio
Twisted Sister: I Wanna Rock
Ozzy Osbourne: Bark At The Moon
Iron Maiden: 2 Minutes to Midnight
Slayer: Raining Blood
Tesla: Comin' Atcha Live
David Lee Roth: Yankee Rose
If you were going to try and bribe the Tournament of Champions officials, what would you be offering? Hypothetically…
First, I know better than to try and bribe Michael with beer. Second, I've already bribed them both and I'm not willing to give away my secrets here, so my answer is, "I would never do such a thing. And, they would never accept anything, because they are both such upstanding individuals."
What is your favorite game played at CVGC?
My favorite game played at CVGC is Nidhogg (they didn't say played in, or eligible for, the official tournament.) Any game that awards me with a million pound bag of sour gummy worms would be my favorite and, so far, this is the only one that meets that criteria.
What is your special move?
Math. Secondary: annoying David. I mean, those go hand-in-hand every year, when I question his rankings. I mean, we all know there is no way I am ever NOT in the lead and that my drunken brain is better at math than any spreadsheet. So, any time his "rankings" show otherwise, I must, under ANY circumstances, point out that there is obviously a mistake.
What motivates you to win CVGC?
Reminding all those darn kids to stay off my lawn.... oh, wait, I mean, reminding all those youngsters that there is no substitute for experience. Who has more of that than me?
What is your catchphrase?
"I'm getting too old for this shit."
What is your favorite CVGC moment?
The Great Beagle Boxing Bout of 2011. Only those that were there will understand how those two titans of war nearly destroyed David's house with their epic battle.
Any games you remember from the finals that helped propel you to your victories?
If I refuse to answer this, which is a lame cop out, by the way, then I would also have to find a way to remove my "Advice from the defending champ" post from a couple of years ago. So, instead, I'll just say, "FORE!"